Commitment Issues
by SKRowling
Summary: I had to get out of there, I really did. The two of them were suffocating me. This one place I never would have thought to see either of them. Actually all three of them, yet here they were there! One, two and three. AU Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious, nor the movie this is based off of Puccini for beginners. Multi Ship Tandre/Cori Friendship, Jori, Bori.
1. Prologue: Caught

**Commitment Issues**

* * *

** Prologue: Caught**

I rummaged to the piles of coats on the bed in Heidie's tiny bedroom. I had to get out of there, I really did. The two of them were suffocating me. This one place I never would have thought to see either of them. Actually all three of them, yet here they were there! One, two and three.

This is horrible. I know I have to talk to him about what is going on. But I'm not ready to discuss this here in a house full of people. I was not prepared to ruin the party.

He walked in after me into the room, trying to tell me that he had seen his ex and that he had told her how in love he was with me. I just didn't want to hear it. "Tori, Listen… I know I told her that, but it's true. I want to marry you." He said to me getting down on one knee. He took my hand and looked up at me expecting me to say what?

I turned away from him and pulled my hand out of his grip. "Where the fuck is my coat?" I stated frantically searching. Then I finally spotted the garment on the bed.

"Tori," He said waiting. He was confused; he had no clue of the confusion was going on in my head; nor he fear that pulsated through my veins. Why can't he just leave me alone.

"I… I can't. I'm sorry." I said backing out of the room and heading as quickly as I could to the door.

"Tori, wait a minute…" He said coming after me.

"Tori!" She said turning to face us. "How do you know her?"

I freeze on the spot. Oh my god… This is what Andre had warned me about. I never in a million years thought this would catch up to me. "She's my girlfriend." Beck said confused. "H- How do you know her?" He asked noting Jade's Expression change to that of some serious pain.

"She's… I mean, was my girlfriend." It broke me. I opened my mouth to explain but she walked away.

Okay, so let me explain. Have you ever done something you knew was stupid and selfish but didn't care because it made you feel important? Or in my case wanted?

I know what you are thinking, and I am not a loose woman. I am not a player by any means. This little scene is never going to tell you the whole story about them and I.

I didn't need this, I never asked for this and just five months ago I was blissfully in a relationship; with ONE woman. I am Tori Vega and I am a lesbian. So how did I end up with him and her? I guess the answer is not so simple.

Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning…


	2. Back Tracking

**Back tracking**

* * *

Okay so my best friend Andre, who was my ex, and I went on a double date with our significant others. We went to a show on Broadway. A play I always wanted to be in. I sang along with every single song under my breath. That's where my focus usually is. My goal. My life. I wasn't aware that my girlfriend Heidi thought my focus should be on her. I mean this is New York! If I don't focus on my goal I will go nowhere.

Okay so Andre's got this new girl. It's pretty strange because they had only been together for like three months and he swears he is so in love. They were sickening in their honeymoon stage. With all the kissing and caressing.

"Andre…" I stated as he cooed to his girl rudely ignoring Heidi and I. "ANDRE! What did you think?" I said finally getting his attention.

"Think of what?" He said finally coming up for air.

"The play!" I answered.

"Oh… Yeah… Sure." He answered looking back at Caroline.

I laughed bitterly. "You could join us here at dinner," I muttered.

"Tori…" ha said with a sheepish shrug. "You know how it is when you are in the honeymoon stage?"

"Well, you're out in public, you think you can keep it in your pants for five minutes?" I stated getting a little ticked.

"Victoria." Heidi stated in her stilted German accent.

"What? I mean can he come up for air and talk to us?" I insisted throwing down my fork.

Talk about the wrong move. I mean what happened at dinner was not really that important. But it was the catalyst of what happened to me later on. Let me explain…

"I mean they have only been dating for three months and he already asked her to move in with him." I stated opening the door to my tiny apartment in SoHo. I was subletting from someone almost dirt-cheap and I was grateful because I was a starving artist.

"They are in love, why are you making it sound so pathological?" Heidi asked. I mean really? I have been with her for what… Nine months and she does not live with me. Nor will I be asking her to any time soon.

"Because it s pathological to become attached at the hip after three months!" I answered tossing my keys on my dining table.

Heidi rolls her eyes, "I like Caroline, I mean she is much better than Andre's Last girlfriend." She stated then paused mid-stride. "What was her name again? Labia?"

I laughed, "NO… um… Flavia… yeah the Dominican." I took off my coat and hung it, then I undressed and got ready for bed in my tank top and panties before I turned to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine.

I suppose you could tell what I was expecting to happen. But when I turned to look at Heidi I noticed she was sitting on my couch. She still had her jacket on. "Why do you still have your coat on?" I asked.

"I'm not staying." She said her face serious. She was primed for an argument.

I sighed exhausted. "Awww come on, stay! I don't want to have this fight again."

"Tori we have to break up." She stated raising her voice at me.

"What?" I stated in shock. She had never suggested that before. "What?" I moved to sit next to her.

"When was the last time we did something together and not end up in a fight?" She asked looking me squarely in the eyes.

"When we have sex…" I answered.

"No, aside from that." She said moving away from me a little. "I mean lets face it, We have absolutely nothing in common. Musical theater bores me to death, and you hang out with your ex which freaks me out to no end. Plus, I'm. Not. A lesbian."

I looked away from her thinking back to the night I met her_. I do have a penchant for straight girls I mean… We were making out and she had me pinned up against the wall outside of my building. She paused a moment and tried to say something. "w- wait…" she murmured._

"_Yeah?" I asked and leaned forward to claim her lips again._

"_I have a boyfriend." She spoke into my mouth._

"_What?" I asked pulling away from her a second. But this time she leaned forward._

"_Yeah, I have a boyfriend." She stated. What was I supposed to do with that?_

_She leaned forward again. Fuck it... "I – I don't care." I said._

Coming back to the present as she snatches the glass of wine from my hand. I was stunned. "I can't believe you wanna break up over some stupid detail about who's a lesbian and who isn't." I said taking the glass back from her.

She got up out of my couch and walked away. "I saw Ivan."

"What?" I said. Now she is telling me that she has been seeing her creep of a boyfriend? She was feeding me some stupid line about him going to St. Bart's on business; He wanted her to go with him. "No one goes to St. Bart's on business!"

"Well… he loves me." She stated grabbing all of the things that she had brought over to my place and tossing them in a bag.

"Are you saying I don't love you?" I ask as I watch her even take back a dishrag that she had bought for my place. Really?

"Well, if you do, you haven't said so." She stated moving on to another room. Well, she's right. I haven't said I love you… but I have a great explanation as to why. I mean I think I might love her but I have to be sure.

"I'm just getting to love you. I mean, it's only been nine months!" I stated. She walks closer to me; her face incredulous. Okay she needs more explaining. I can do that. "You can't just love a person out of the blue—"

"Do you know what your problem is?" She interrupts me. "You're conflicted."

"I'm conflicted? You want to be Ivan's girlfriend who occasionally sleeps with lesbians… and I'm the one that's conflicted?"

"I wouldn't call being with you day and night for six months occasional." She stated and continued on her way out of my apartment. I followed her out of the apartment, yes in my underwear I didn't care.

I stopped her at the elevator. "Is it the lesbian thing that's bothering you or what?" I asked.

"Tori can you shut the door please?" She asked and looked nervously at the Puertorican lady from upstairs that was holding her dog in her arms.

"I wanna know!" I whined.

"I already told you." She stated. She was so done with me.

"Tell her again." The lady said just as annoyed with me as Heidi was.

Heidi sighed, "Victoria… I'm not a lesbian, and you are not the right woman for me anyway."

What? How do you know that I'm not the right one if you're not a lesbian Heidi? I stepped back and let the elevator door close. I stood there in front of it in my panties in shocked silence. What did I feel for Heidi? I mean, Nine months is not enough time to fall in love with anyone. So with a sigh, I turned back and went into my apartment.


	3. Depression

**Depression**

* * *

I walked back into my apartment and threw myself face down on my pillow. I wanted to die. Was I really that insufferable? I wrapped myself in blankets and descended into the cocoon that was my bed.

I would have stayed there the rest of my life if my stupid will to live wasn't so strong. I began to feel claustrophobic, as if the stupid blankets were threatening to strangle me. I struggled against them and finally broke free. I had lost count as to how long I had been wrapped in them. I had to have been months. At least it felt that way. I grabbed my pearphone and took a look.

Wrong, it was only one o'clock the next afternoon. I sat up and sighed. I had to get out of here. The walls were closing in on me. I headed out to central park for a walk. I needed to think.

I mean doesn't anyone realize that love is a smokescreen to keep us from facing the real issues of the world? Global warming, poverty, famine, floods, tsunamis… Separation of class, and unfair taxation. I mean please!

I sat on a bench near the lake and sighed. And watched a pair of lovebirds coo around each other. The couples of the human variety walked along hands held taunting me with their cheery statistics. I could feel them eyeing me and feeling sorry for me and taunting me in their head saying_; "studies show that being in a committed relationship is good for you! It can even make you live longer."_ I scoff at this as I watch a happy pair walk along; the woman's head neatly tucked on the man's shoulder.

"Yeah… well who wants to live longer?" I yell after them. Yes I know that statement was all in my head and I look crazy right now, but whatever. I guess I better get on with my life.

* * *

The next day I set off to do all of my chores. I went to the launder mat and I swear the load felt heavier than it should have. All I could thing about is how I just hated being alone! I'm not the kind of person that should be by herself! I mean I was made to be in a relationship. I'm smart, attractive; I was in a fairly successful play once! I have a great apartment in a great neighborhood. I'm a real catch.

Later in the day, however, I returned from the mount Olympus of my own making as I sat alone at a café. Alone! I realized how Narcissistic, passive aggressive, self absorbed, and incapable of connecting I am.

I sighed and took a sip of my coffee. That's it; from now on I'm just going to be by myself.

This was what I had resolved for myself. And this was how it was going to be. I went everywhere alone for the next week. I grabbed my book for lonely old bats and went to the local puertorican restaurant and read my stupid book every night.

One of those nights, I guess the guys at the bar didn't think I looked Latina enough because they began talking in Spanish as if I didn't understand. About me!

"She's here again… tostones girl." The older one said shaking his head.

"Third time this week." Said the younger of the two.

"I think she and the other girl she used to come here with broke up." The fist said. I tried not to notice how wearily he was eying me. I kept my eyes on my book and listened.

"No, that other girl was straight, she went back to her boyfriend."

"Really? Seemed like things were going okay." The older one said. I agree with him. I knew I liked him.

"Commitment issues." The other one said. Oh no… not you too! "Deeply conflicted." I stood up and left after that. Forget my order. I do not have commitment issues. There wasn't enough to commit to!

* * *

I took to my bed again. It was pointless for me to even bother to continue with my life if everyone was judging me about commitment issues. One of these days, my friend Cat let herself into my apartment with her key.

"Get up!" She stated "We're going out."

"Uh… Cat I don't want to go anywhere." I stated burying my head in my pillow.

"Well You are, and you're gonna let me borrow some clothes because I have nothing to wear."

I groaned and sat up and watched her undress. "I don't feel like socializing."

"Ugh you need to get over that chick!" She stated exasperated looking through my clothes in my closet. "I mean the woman voted republican, that's when you went wrong."

"She was a challenge." I mumbled staring at her.

"You always go for the straight girls, except for me." She stated holding up a black tube top to her chest. She cocked her head and furrowed her brow then turned back to face me. "How come you never went for me?" I dropped my head and held it in my hands with a groan. "You're right we're way to close. I men we've been best friends for so long we love each other enough as it is. Why complicate it?"

Wow, cat should really take a breath when she speaks. I sighed as my thoughts went back to Heidi. "I really loved being with her, I mean she's smart, warm affectionate… Hot—"

"You are gonna meet someone tonight. You are gonna come with me and meeting your one. That's what." She said picking up a yellow dress from the discarded pile.

I laughed, "No, you'll meet someone and then you'll ditch me and leave me to get home on my own." I cocked my head and looked at her. "I hate parties anyway… wear that that's cute."

"Really?" Cat said easily derailed. "I think it makes me look fat."

"Mmm… are you crazy?" I said raising my brows. "Girl you look good."

She looked at me and sighed. "Tori, it's time to reinvent yourself sweetie."

I grumbled and got out of my bed. "I gotta go get some food. I need some chocolate."

"What? Don't binge now, save your binging for the party." Cat said bringing the dress away from her body. "Just wait I'm almost rea-" I guess at this point she caught a glimpse of her self in the mirror because I heard her mumble. "Oh that kind of does look cute." There was no way I was going to that stupid party.


	4. Beck

**Beck**

* * *

Sure enough, wouldn't you know it. The moment we got to the party Cat ditched me for I don't know more companionable company. So I Sat my sunglasses on my nose, (To make myself invisible) and headed straight for the food.

I had to admit they had a pretty good spread of assorted fruit cheese and other hors d'oeuvres. I looked out at Cat, who was flirting with some Tech nerd in the corner. His Dark curly hair and dark rimmed glasses pulled off the whole look for him.

She batted her pretty brown eyes and laughed her annoying high laugh I guess trying to get his attention. It worked. He giggled then put his fist on his chin flirting back. I sighed and shook my head and looked down at my full plate… well maybe I could fit some more on it.

As I was making sure my plate was covered and I couldn't see it under the food. Someone stood really close to me. I pretended not to feel that. Actually I didn't even care. I shrugged internally and grabbed a whole block of brie and put it on my plate.

I took the whole cup of toasted breadsticks and took my mountain of food out on the balcony so that I could eat it in peace. I hid out there and ate until my stomach was filled, but I ate more because I still felt kind of empty inside. When I could take no more I finally stopped to take a breath.

But the awful thing is, that now I had time to think, and I began to feel the depression and guilt begin to over take me. I leaned back on the railing and took a deep breath to try to still my head.

"GOD this is fantastic isn't it? This kind of view?" Some dude said coming out on to the balcony. I looked at him rolled my eyes and looked away again. "Makes you fall in love with the city doesn't it?"

"Does it?" I asked. "Makes me want to jump." I stated more to myself than to him.

He stopped and looked at me for a bit. "Maybe you should take your sunglasses off." He said staying on his side of the balcony, which I appreciated. I didn't want him thinking he could just come up to me and chat me up… I just don't swing that way.

"I can't I'm blind," I stated.

"No you're not," He said with a chuckle. I couldn't help but laugh with him. "You're not blind! Hi, Beck Oliver." He said extending his hand.

"Tori," I said removing my glasses and shaking his hand closing the ten foot space that had been between us. "Vega."

"Tori Vega the actress…" Beck said and I wondered how he'd known my name.

"An actress." I stated leaning back on the fence and putting some space between us again.

"Skytown Trouble! I remember when that play came out! You were nominated for a Toni right?" He stated seemed impressed.

"Actually there were only talks of adding the play to it's nominations." I said liking this dude.

"Wow! Great play!" He stated.

"You saw it?" I asked.

"Yeah! Of course I saw it, one of the first plays I went to when I got here from Canada." I looked at him skeptically; you'd think you would have to drag someone like him into the theater. "Oh the boat scenes when you had to take a trip down the Vasquez River. It was riveting." He stated stepping closer to me. I blinked, he was invading my personal space, but I stood my ground.

"You swear you didn't come to watch because of the Picture on the poster? Because as you can see I don't look like that." I stated trying really hard not to step away. "That was a moment of youthful pulchritude that has long since passed."

Okay I threw out a big college word at him. Let's see if he knows what it means. If he doesn't then he is not worth my time at all. I don't keep stupid friends. All right, Beck you past this test, I might just let you talk to me some more.

"Youthful pulchritude?" He asked. His face puzzled. Yup… not worth my time.

"Don't ask me what pulchritude means." I said rolling my yes and returning to my previous aloof stance. I was so done with him.

"It means beauty," he said shaking his head. "And no I was wondering what you meant by youthful, because you seem pretty youthful to me."

Of course he knew what it meant, I knew I liked him for a reason. I snorted, "That's because I've had this same hair cut since I was eleven."

Beck didn't get a chance to respond, but in his eyes I saw that the next thing that was going to come out of his lips was a seriously flirty compliment. Thank God for Cat, I would have hated to tell him that there was no way it was going to get beyond a cool friendship. "Hey, hey! You're still here!" she stated coming out onto the balcony. "I thought you were going to jump!"

Beck rested his back to the railing as Cat brought the Nerd she was talking to out with her. "Anyway this is… He does lighting for that play… um…"

"Book of Mormon." He said finishing her sentence and extends a hand to Beck. "Rob Shapiro."

"Beck Oliver."

Cat waved her hand dismissively and stated. "Can we leave this nest of nerds and snobs and go find a real party somewhere?"

"No, No." I said I just wanted to go home. "I don't want to go, please no."

"Yes, you are," she said pulling me by my scarf. "You come too, Cute Indian boy."

We ended up at a bar across town. Cat and Rob danced all night. But Rob seemed a little off to me. I sat with Beck at a booth and watched. "I bet you he's married." I mumbled

"Why would you say that?" Beck asked.

"Cat always falls for married men…" I paused and my head went toward Heidi. "My last lover left me for a man. Her old boyfriend." I laughed. "Probably going to get married too."

As I said this, Beck seemed to deflate. I guess he must have been wondering why I had kept my distance. Now he knew. I bet he was one of those pretty boys that was used to girls just wanting him. Because if he had thought he had a shot with me he was playing it really cool up to that point. I think he is done listening to me now. Well too bad, I had started talking about Heidi and I couldn't stop now.

"God! Marriage just makes me sick to my stomach." I said continuing my half drunken rant. "Makes me want to throw up."

"Well, It's a stubborn institution, like capitalism." He stated lifting his beer to his lips.

"Are you a capitalist?" I asked I guess I was kind of glad for the change of subject. I didn't need to talk about my ex anymore. I needed to move on.

"I'm a production assistant on Newsies," he stated. Impressive, that is a great show.

"Wow, so do you just like to troll around town and watch god awful plays like mine?" I asked.

"No…" He said starting to look uncomfortable. He was trying not to look at me; did he like me? Was he into my pulchritude? Maybe I should quit women and go back to men. I leaned closer, "I enjoyed Skytown very much actually."

"You're very attractive," I said watching him in a haze.

"Pulchritudinous?" He asked with a smirk. I giggled and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Are you flirting with me?" I asked.

He laughed looking around the room. "Are you flirting with me?" he answered me with a question of his own.

"Flirting? Me?" I paused and move my head so that I could look in his face because he was trying so hard not to look at me. "What do you think I am? You're a man… I'm a lesbian." I went back to my drink a little confused about what I felt. "You just saw my play, that's all. And loved it. I appreciate that."

He stretched glad to have me back up off of him and said. "How about a cab?" He asked.

"No, I'm not ready to go." I said taking another shot of… whatever we were drinking I couldn't remember.

"No, no… let's go." He said and walked me out of the restaurant. The last time I saw Cat she was making out on the floor with Rob.

The crisp night air hit my face as we exited the bar. Beck said that he would make sure I made it home okay. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" I asked him as he held me up and signaled for a cab.

"Nope, Not tonight." He answered. "not really."

I smiled. "Great! Why don't you come home with me then? I haven't been with a man in years."

He laughed and signaled for the cab even more vigorously. "Uh… I think maybe you just need to pass out." He said when a cab finally arrived.

"No I don't think so." I said as he opened the door for me. "Come on! Don't put me in a cab! I'm drunk." I sat in the cab and tried to pull him in after me. "You know, when a lesbian propositions you, you should be flattered. You should be overjoyed. Are you married or something?"

He paused and got this far away look in his eye like he was bored. "Or something, yeah…" He responded.

Then my stomach started to bubble and churn. Oh god, I hadn't felt like this in ages. I never really drink like this. "Ugh I'm gonna be sick." I said just before I hurled splattering all that I had consumed that night all over his booted feet and splattered his pants with vomit.

"Okay…" He stated and put me all the way in the cab. "You need to go home now, and get some rest. What's your address?" He asked. I gave him and the Cab driver the address, and he closed the door behind me.

I thought it had all been a dream until I saw a text message from him the next day**. "Just making sure you made it home alright. Text me back when you get this."** I smiled and shot a text back to him. It was awesome that he still wanted to make sure I was okay even after I threw up all over him. I have a new friend and that is always very cool.


	5. Jade

**Jade**

The next morning Cat caught up to me as I was headed to the theater for an audition. I was so not ready to take on my life that Monday. I was so hungover I knew I was just going to bomb the stupid audition.

As we walked, I told her about what happened with Beck. How I was propositioning him, "and?" She asked

"I threw up!"

"You threw up on him?"

"No, I didn't throw up on him, just near him, okay? Look my head hurts, I'm having a humiliation hangover."

"Robbie's single! Isn't that great?" Cat said breaking out into a smile. I smiled for her as she hopped as we walked along. "I have an audition today, how do I look?" She said as we stopped.

I looked at her. "You look great," I kissed her cheek and hugged her. "Good luck on your audition. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, bye…" She said, but I didn't get but two paces when she called out. "Oh wait! Is Beck married?"

"Mmm… He never really answered me."

"Ugh, I bet he's married, men are such scum." Then she looked at me, "Hey what are you doing today?"

"After my audition, I'll be doing some more obsessing over Heidi." I answered as we crossed the street.

"Okay… No movies no book stores… you know how you get." That was the last thing she said to me before she left for her audition, and the first thing I thought of after I bombed mine.

* * *

I walked by Cinema Village and saw that they were having a screwball comedy festival… in other words cheesy fright fest for October. So I went inside. What a way to kill a few billion brain cells and hours than to sit in a dark room pining over lost love.

I went up to the box office and greeted this dude that I got to know since I have been coming to the theater often since I lost Heidi. "Hey Benny, one please."

"Saw this girl go in there, hot as hell. Check her out went in alone."

"Oh, no thanks." I said stepping inside the building. Before the lights went down I caught a glimpse of a girl sitting off by herself. She was kind of hot. I sat behind her the whole movie. Found myself watching as she laughed at the stupid horror on there. They weren't that funny but she found them hilarious.

When the movie ended, I followed her out of the theater as quickly as I could. She looked so sad for the movie to be over. She had been laughing and now she was crying. "Told ya she was hot." I heard Benny say as we walked out of the theater.

I walked up to her as she stopped to dab at her eyes. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She was startled, and looked over at me. Her eyes roamed my body then she turned and shook her head. "Just a little sad that they don't make those kind of movies anymore."

"Totally sad." I said looking her over. Her chestnut brown hair that fell down her back and her piercing blue green eyes that contrasted with her pale skin and beautiful cherry red heart shaped lips. She was hotter than Heidi.

"I don't know, I got a little emotional. Must be getting my period or something."

"I've been having one of those days for a week now." I answered with a laugh. "The movies just help me to get my mind off of things you know?"

"Yeah, I get you." She responded and smiled. Then looked at her watch. I looked at her and thought that maybe she might have to go, and she laughed at herself. "I don't know why I am looking at my watch. I don't have anywhere to be.

I looked at it and shrugged. "Its wrong anyway, It says it's 10, when it's actually four right now."

She looked at it in confusion and shook her head. "Yet another reason why I shouldn't even be looking at it."

What was with this chick? Well since she didn't actually have to be anywhere, maybe she could be nowhere with me. "Do you wanna get like some coffee or something?"

She looked at my lips then my eyes and smiled, "Sure, why not?"

"Okay, Lets go." I said and lead her to the nearest Jetbrew.

"I'm Jade by the way." She said shaking my hand as we walked.

"Tori," I responded, "nice to meet you."

* * *

"Really, you're a director?" I said once we were seated at a table just outside the coffee shop.

"Yeah I do indie films just waiting to make that one film that gets me in the mainstream." She leaned forward on her elbows as I sat back and listened. Watching her face as she talked about her dreams.

Her beauty mesmerized me, and I stared as in a trance. She lifted her cup to her lips and I caught sight of her hands. Her nails cut just perfectly and they moved just so that I could imagine them doing certain things for me. "you have great hands." I said in my trance.

She stopped and looked at them. "You think so?" I nodded, "Nice of you to notice." She looked at her hands and was silent for a while before looking back up at me. "My boyfriend never notices… I guess that's because we've been together for an eternity." Ugh… she's a straight girl… Pass. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

I leaned back and folded my arms across my chest to keep my heartbreak from spilling out of my mouth. I wanted her. "No, I had a girlfriend. But she walked out on me last week."

She looked at me and nodded, "where you in love with her?"

"I thought so, but I didn't say so…" I sighed. "So, she didn't think so." I caught her eye and smirked at her. She blushed, and she doesn't strike me as much of a blusher. "People who break up with me usually earn my life long devotion."

She looked down at her coffee and took a sip. "Are you flirting with me?" She asked her brow furrowed in confusion.

'I don't know, Maybe…" I answered truly not knowing the answer to that question, because I was certainly not trying to flirt. She was straight and had a boyfriend and I was so done with straight girls. "I don't mean to though. Sorry."

She shook her head and kept her eye on her coffee. "Sorry, that was a dumb question." She said and she doesn't strike me as a person that likes to apologize much either. I really had her flustered.

I laughed and shook my head. "No, that's okay."

I made her nervous I could tell, because her jet brew cup was quaking in her hands and when she put it down she tipped it and spilled all the contents within on to the table and her lap. "Oh my god… let's just go." She said.

"Yeah." I answered and picked up my bag and stood up. We exchanged numbers and she hailed a cab. "This is my neighborhood." I said when she asked if I wanted to share the cab.

"Okay, well I'm at the studio, usually cutting scenes together every night… Just, call me okay?" Jade stated placing a hand on my shoulder. "Sorry about your girlfriend."

"Thanks," I said and watched her get into the cab. I watched her cab roll away before turning around to head to my apartment. I looked at the number on my phone and smiled. I was never going to call… she was straight, I was never gonna go there again.


	6. Hanging Out

**A/N: Sorry I forgot... Enjoy**

* * *

**Hanging out**

Who was I kidding, of course I was gonna call her. She was hot, and besides, it wasn't like she was asking me to be her girlfriend on the side or anything. We could just… be friends couldn't we?

I lay on my couch later that evening looking through my phone for a number. I stared at it for a long time. I could so see myself falling for Jade… another straight girl. I sighed. So what if she wanted to test-drive me? I should just stick to shallow adventures anyway. I stared at the number for a little longer, and then I drew my bottom lip in between my teeth and pressed the call button.

"Heidi, hi it's me… ugh… you're in St. Bart's probably frolicking somewhere." I said. Yes I am a masochist. I wanted to give Heidi one more chance. Maybe she went back to him and realized she really was gay. "We didn't even discuss this… I just feel like…" her voice mail cut me off and stating that her voice mail box was full.

I sighed. Who was I kidding? We did discuss it. I mean she discussed it at length. She told me everything and all of her reasons that night. I need to stop calling her and leaving these lame messages in her voice box.

The next day, I went to my favorite bookstore to by my next lonely old lady book. I was so engrossed that I didn't even realize I was being watched. Suddenly someone bumped into me. I whirled around and saw the tall handsome guy from the party and I was instantly embarrassed.

I groaned and covered my face, as he chuckled at me. "Hi, Tori right?"

I smiled "Yeah… um Beck?" I answered and he nodded. "Yeah what are you doing here?" I asked trying to shake my embarrassment off.

"Well I work in that theater over there… and I am done for the day. How about you?" He asked

"I'm…" I look for something not so pathetic and I said. "I'm writing a book review… just got to read the book first. What a coincidence."

"Freud said, there are no coincidences." The man standing on the other side of me said with a smirk and walked away from us.

I raised a brow and followed him with my gaze as he walked away, as Beck looked at the books in my hand. "Oh…_ The odyssey; Two If By Sea; The Lighthouse… Martha Stewart Home Entertaining_?"

I looked at this man. He was genuinely interested. Not to mention he was handsome. If it wasn't for his big hands and feet, I'd say he'd make a pretty girl. "I'll buy the first round of drinks if you don't tell anyone about The Martha Stewart book." I tell him.

He smirks, "I'll buy the second round, if you can tell me the truth behind these books… you're no writer."

I smiled softly and nodded leading the way to a near by cafe.

We sat at the same table that Jade and I had sat a few days before. And I told him things about my love life that I should never have said. "So Andre, is your best friend and your ex… Right?"

"Yeah, he was the big one, he was my last man. Turned out we would be better friends."

"And Cat, is not your ex… right?"

"Oh God no… no, no. She's straight as a board. Heidi is my most recent ex." I sighed longing for my tall blond goddess that was probably writhing with pleasure under some man. "I was just so close… to getting close with her, you know?"

"Close… to getting close. Tori, that's not even a thing." He said to me confused.

I sighed. "I mean, it's that whole settling down thing, just makes me crazy. Why can't people just fall in love, and when it ends, it ends."

He looked at me after my special little rant and there was no judgment in his eyes. He simply said, "'cause, they've got feelings."

I stared at him. Could I have something with this man? I mean he's intelligent, attractive… Charming; he's got a nice head of hair. I was so distracted I didn't hear what he said next and he was waiting for me to respond. "I'm sorry what was that?"

"Would you like anything else?" He asked again.

I blushed and cleared my throat. "No… um do you mind if we just get the check?"

After we paid he offered to walk me home, I smiled and walked with him as we continued to chat. "So you have a problem committing to a relationship because of some social construct?" He asked as we walked.

I laughed. "Committed… just listen to that word Committed. Isn't that what you do to the clinically insane?" I asked. He laughed as we reached my door and pulled out my keys. "This is me." I said just in front of my building.

"Oh… well some people are very resolved and don't mind commitment at all." He finished his statement.

"Are you resolved?" I asked taking a pause. He came closer to me on to the steps on the stoop.

"Uh… Lately I don't know." He answered getting a far away look in his eye.

I smirked. "Maybe you need a paradigm shift." I said standing closer to him involuntarily. What was this really? Was this a date? "Not that I would know any different I have had the same hair cut since I was eleven."

He smiled. "Yeah you said that before."

I smiled back and my eyes wandered over his features landing at his lips, plump and smooth. I clear my throat and chuckle. "I did? Well… that's embarrassing. Okay, well… See ya."

He nodded, "Yeah." And we both turned away from each other, but before he could get too far, I turned back toward him and pulled him to face me. I kissed him. Who said a lesbian couldn't be with a man?

We stopped and looked at each other awkwardly. "I don't know why I just did that." I said to him. He shook his head dumbly, and I pulled him back in… this time pulling him all the way into the building.

The next thing you know we are an awkward tangle of sheets in my bed writhing and rolling against and with each other. He rolled on top of my vibrator. He lifted it and turned it on. I blushed and buried my face in his shoulder. "You won't be needing this tonight." He mumbled against my neck.

Then I began to laugh, as he rolled atop me once more and began to move deep within me and I relent with a moan.


	7. After Sex

**A/N: this has a lot of dialogue and pillow talk and well a lot of commitment talk. Enjoy!- S.K.**

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**After Sex**

"Well, I haven't done that in like a thousand years." I stated sitting up in bed after this… I don't know what I have just started but… I guess it was good; I don't even want him to leave.

"What?" He said sitting up next to me, his flushed and winded… and really sexy. "Have sex?" I chuckled and leaned into him.

"With a man!" I said.

"Oh!" He stated as if he had forgotten I was a lesbian. "And?"

"Nice…" I said with a blush of my own I settled next to him placing my head on his shoulder. "It's funny what the body remembers but the mind forgets." I take a deep breath and looked over at him. "Let's not make a big deal out of this or anything." I stated quickly… don't want him falling for me.

"I'm not making a big deal out of anything." Then he chuckles to himself. "This seems like a bit of a cliché."

I raised a brow, cliché? "Sleeping with a lesbian is cliché?"

"No… I've been with my girlfriend for years and the past few months we haven't been together… together you know?" He said really quickly as if to say that he sounds like every other cheating boyfriend or husband. "And then I have great sex and… it's with somebody else." Yeah it's clichéd but I couldn't care less I like vagina.

"You're a guy!" I said bringing my legs to my chest. "How long have you been together?"

"A long time." He said with a far away look. I bet he was thinking about her and what a mistake he made with me today.

"You're not married?" I asked

"No." He said without hesitation.

"Why not?"

"What do you mean why not?"

"It's what Straight people do isn't it? Other wise what is the point of being in a long relationship?"

"Well not all straight people are alike," he said moving closer to me and kissing my lips. I moved back a little.

"Why not? I mean every one makes generalizations about lesbians all the time." I stated with a shrug.

"Well I won't generalize about you, if you don't generalize about me."

"Okay," I said and he began to move closer again to kiss me. I panicked and move back again. "But some things about straight people are true…

"Like what?" He said

"Like marriage! That is the straightest notion in the world."

"Oh please… where have you been all your life? Gay people want to get married too."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes but in a straight relationship it is always the long suffering woman that wants to get married and the guy that always is afraid to commit like he is going to Jail or something. That's different from the Government telling you that you can't get married because there's something wrong with you. Of course gays wanna get married because we always want what we can't have."

"That is the most ridiculous generalization I have ever heard." He stated laughing and shaking his head.

I smirked. "You heterosexuals invented all these super submissive things for women… I mean… thank god I don't have to deal with all of that." I snuggled into his side again. I was having a real conversation with this man in my bed and I for once didn't care that the person I had just been with was gonna walk away from me because I didn't care if he did.

"Yeah, like your relationships are so completely different, I mean they work so much better. NO communication issues or expectations everything is just peachy right?"

Wrong… "Absolutely! Lesbian relationships are so much better."

My mind then went back to the night of Heidi and I's break up.

"_Just listen to that word! Commit!" I yelled at Heidi as she packed up her things. That's the word that they use when you go to an insane asylum. They commit you."_

"_That's ridiculous!" She yelled back at me. "Commitment is the end of high romance and the beginning of intimate closeness. It's sticking around when it gets hard!"_

_I stood there and kind of looked at her. "Is that why you're going back to Ivan? For the 'hard parts'?"_

_Heidy glowered and walked away from me. "I'm done… I'm out."_

He was trying to get my attention, he nuzzled my neck and he kissed my cheek and my mouth and before I knew it I was on my back again. I broke the kiss and cupped his chin with my hand. "Beck, this is a brief encounter, you know that right?"

"Yeah, I know, brief." He said nuzzling my neck again. "Lets just make it last as long as we can." Then he kissed me again. Why the hell not.


	8. Lunch

**A/N: So it has been a little while... stories come to me like wildfire sometimes and they burn hot at my fingers. some of these cool off faster than others and I suppose this has been one of them... I tried to get this one warmed up again. SO I hope you enjoy and sorry for the months of waiting- S.K.**

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**Lunch**

* * *

Days later I was out to lunch with Cat and André, and it was as if Beck and Jade had never even happened. "So you heard from Heidi yet?" He asked suddenly.

It took me by surprise, I mean why would he want to know? "NO… " I stated then shook my head.

Cat piped up just then saying, "How about Beck? Have you heard from him?"

Andre stiffened and turned to look at me, "Beck? Who's beck?"

"Oh this really hot guy Tori threw up on after the party the other night!' Cat stated.

"You didn't tell me you threw up on someone." Andre stated.

"It was nothing… It was just some guy who saw my play."

"He saw your play?" André stated.

"He saw it opening week!" Cat said.

"It only ran one week" I retorted. "No I haven't seen him."

"At least he saw it, isn't that sweet? But he's married."

"He's not married." I defended. "He has a girlfriend that he's been with since high school."

Cat's brows furrowed. "I thought you said you hadn't seen him!"

I was about to respond when Andre cut in, "Um excuse me, but how come I never heard anything about this dude?

I shrugged guiltily. I had broken up with this man, he knows I've slept with Beck he can see it in my posturing. "There's nothing to know, Come on let's just order dessert."

"How come, you can meet the most gorgeous and interesting men, and you aren't even interested in men?" Cat said. The sound of woe coming from her, caused me to turn and faced her. "I love men and I never meet anybody!"

André looked at her and shook his head. "Very long answer Little Red."

Okay a change of subject is in order. "MMM Tiramisu." I stated with a smile. "I'm gonna get that."

"You sound weirdly defensive." André turned back to me. Damn it he's like a dog with a bone.

"Defensive?" I asked

"You never order tiramisu." He stated.

"I'm allowed to order it!" I stated. "I met a woman too… so how is that for defensive?"

"Life is so unfair!" Cat stated next to me shaking her head.

"Tori, you don't need to have a girlfriend or an anything right now anyway. Because when you are alone the issues that you have can be dealt with instead of covered up until your inevitable next breakup."

"Oh please! I don't have any issues with relationships." I said to him.

He leaned back and rolled his eyes. "sure…"

"The only issue you and I had was the fact that you had the wrong parts!"

"Whatever, Tori." He said grabbing his wallet. "I'll get the check.

I can't believe I just lied to my best friends… I can't believe I slept with a man! Oh well I'll never see him again.


	9. I'm a lesbian

**I'm a Lesbian**

* * *

When I got back to my building I you would not believe who was standing at my door. "Beck!" I said stopping in front of him in shock. "What… what are you doing here"

"I Moved out." He said with a shrug.

"What?" I screamed and took his hand pulling him into my apartment. I opened my door and sat him down on my couch. "What do you mean you moved out?" I asked pacing the room.

"I'm a wreck." He said hugging my pillow. "I just can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop dreaming about you-"

"That's hardly a reason to change your life!" I interrupted.

"Isn't it? Isn't it a good reason to follow my heart instead of following my head for once? Isn't living about change?" He stated throwing the pillow to the other side of the couch. "A paradigm shift?"

"Jesus Christ!" I groaned walking back and forth. I felt like a caged tiger in my own home. I needed to get this dude to let me go. I knew it was a mis take. Stupid, stupid, stupid. "If I wanted something like this to happen I would have had a one night stand with a woman not with a straight man." I whined. "I thought men just want to get laid and get out. Isn't that how most men are? Isn't that how you're supposed to be? What the hell is wrong with you?"

He came over to me and tried to kiss me. I shook my head and pushed him away but he insisted saying, "You think I'm hot. I know you do."

"Oh I do, you are incredible." I stated backing away, "but there has to be a good reason for it dude, I'm a lesbian! A lesbian. Can't you just respect my preferences and just stay on your side?" I stated trying to remind what team I played for.

"Which side is that?" He asked getting really close to my face. His lips close to mine. I could smell his breath of spearmint imagining the sweet taste of his tongue.

I pushed him away. "Ugh give me a break!" I said pushing him toward my door. "Good bye, good luck and thanks for everything." After I closed the door in his face I heard.

"I have two tickets for The Lion King tomorrow." He stated through the shut door. I stopped on my tracks I had been trying to get tickets for weeks.

I walked back to the door. When I opened it he held out the tickets. "Maybe we can have a brief meaningless affair." I said. He tried to weasel his way back into my apartment but I pushed him out and said, "starting tomorrow."


	10. Act Two

**A/N: so you guys keep asking for Jade, here is Jade. There is a reason why this story does not have two characters interacting... it is because it is the three of them. A lot of it is Bori... but the best parts are Jori. this is still not very Jadey but remember Tori just told Beck she would try to go out with him. Enjoy- S.K.**

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**Act Two: I know you**

* * *

Just before my date, I headed out to the convenience store, to get some… stuff you know that I need. You know… Just in case. Anyway, the guy behind the cash register leered at me. I guess because I am a latina he felt entitled to do so. I just wanted him to give me my things so that I could go.

"Hey, you're cute." He said licking his lips.

"Thanks." I acknowledged

He bobbed his head at me and smirked "You wanna go out with me?"

I shook my head. "No thanks." Damn cant you see I am not receptive?

"Why not? I mean we'd have a good time."

"I'm a lesbian—" I answered thinking that would put a stop to it.

"I'm cool with that." He countered. Asshole. "You know I am open like that."

"And I already have a boyfriend."

"Well the more the merrier." I groaned and just turned to walk away. But just as I reached the door, a girl snached it open.

She looks so familiar. I couldn't let it go, I mean she looked right past me. She doesn't see me she just says. "Um, coffee Black two sugars Fernando."

She had to see me… I stopped and said, "Hey I know you!"

"Oh! Hi." She said and smiled at me, "You remember me?"

I smirked. "Of course I do, The director. How could I forget?"

She smiled "You said I had great hands."

I glanced at them and smiled, "Well you do."

She frowned and shook her head. "I… I gotta go"

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Oh, stupid man drama." She said reaching for her coffee and paying for it. Then she shook her head and fought back some tears.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked. Then she hugs me breaking down. I grab my bag and lead her over to the park and we sit.

She tells me this story about how her boyfriend said that he just couldn't be with her anymore and left her. "And I told him that if he walked out of that door, that he better not come back because he will find the door locked."

"I can't believe he just sprung it on you like that." I stated lending a hardly sympathetic ear. "Where is he?" she shrugged. "Oh Jade, I'm sorry…"

"Good riddance I suppose. Men are Dogs. I thought he was different, but I guess he isn't."

"He isn't?" I said.

Then she reached over at me and placed her hand on my thigh. My mind went blank. Jade what are you thinking? You don't touch a gay woman unless… Unless… does Jade wanna get with me. Oh she's talking. Listen Tori, listen. "you are so lucky you are a lesbian, I mean Men are just not worth it."

"I understand." I said and patted the hand that was on my lap, then I reached up and brushed a stray hair out of her face.

"Shit, I have to go." She said finishing up her coffee. "I'd love to talk to you some more. Here's my number," she took a card out of her purse, handed it to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Call me okay?"

Then she got up and walked away. And I stared after her. I turned and this lady sitting next to me smirked at me. I mean what was that all about? "She was coming on to you." The lady confirmed.

"She was right?" I stated more than asked.

"Yeah she was, that whole damsel in distress bit," she insisted.

"Well I feel bad for her," I said trying to tell myself I didn't want anything from Jade. "My girlfriend walked out on me, I know how she feels. It's just hell being alone."

"No honey, Hell is other people." She said and went back to her book. I sighed and sat back on the bench I had some thinking to do before my date.

I showed up at Beck's door and another dude answered the door. His eyes looked surprised. "Well Hello!"

"Hi, I'm Tori." I said to him. He wouldn't stop staring at my legs.

"Bye Moose." Beck said walking out of the apartment.

"Are you sure Tori wouldn't want to come in for a little Vino or something?" Moose asked.

"Nope we're good." Beck said wrapping an arm around me and he guided me down the hall.

"Nice to meet you." I stated to a bewildered looking Moose "Maybe next time!"

Okay so I will just … let him down easy. I will stop dating a man soon. Get back to what I really want. What do I really want? Was It Jade? I feel my pocket for the card she gave me. Maybe… at least she is the right gender.


End file.
